Saturday, 24 August 2013

Beau and The Silence of The Lambs

Tewkesbury, River Avon

We've had to leave Evesham.

Since the episode of The Phantom Spaniel, I've developed a bit of a twitch when the hedge rustles, and I suffer from separation anxiety when I can't see my food-bowl.
Dad said that if we didn't move, then he'd have to take me to Harley Street..........My God!..they've even named a road after him!!!!

So, on the run again - another 3 days on the river and we've parked in a town where our river, going down, meets another river, also going down. I can't help but feel that one decent-sized river would have been better.

Anyway, the day after we arrived, Dad took me along the road to a place called The Ham. He said it was called that because, in the old days, they used to keep pigs on it;....but now............my word!...it's full of sheep, hundreds of them, as far as the eye can see.
Dad just said 'There you are boy, what do you think of that lot'........WHAT DO I THINK!!!!....
Listen, I've seen that telly program 'One Dog and His Man', they only use about half a dozen really old stunt sheep that have done a deal with the sheepdogs to go through a few fences and stuff, whilst some old guy, who has to lean on a stick, tries to whistle through his false teeth, and keeps shouting things like 'Awee!', and 'Lidoon!', and 'Coom Buy!'.

Now, I've got a rough idea what to do, but with this lot?........please....................

My Collie intuition told me not to look at the whole thing, but to break the problem down into bite-size-chunks, and deal with that.

So I spotted a group of about a dozen or so sheep that looked like they might like to play, so I crept forward and gave them 'The Collie Eye'.
This is where the inate power of the sheepdog is used to dominate and control the sheep in order to do his bidding. What normally happens to sheep given 'The Eye', is that one or two of them will give the alarm and they will attempt to run.........which means that 'The Chase' is on....

Except that these sheep didn't......
    
Didn't sound the alarm
            Didn't scatter to the four winds
                   Didn't stop eating grass
                            Didn't care less..........................

Barking, standing on tip-toe to look big, rolling on the ground whilst balancing an orange squeaky ball on the nose.....................nothing impressed these sheep.

Maybe Dad will learn to whistle, and get me some old 'TV Stunt Sheep' to play with for Christmas.....

XX Beau

Beau gives them 'The Eye'

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